Bulimia, Laxatives and Cutting

I wrote this to a girl who said she would vomit and use laxatives to stay thin:

 STOP THE SELF-DESTRUCTION!!!

You may think it is cool to pity yourself, to feel sorry for yourself, but really you are a miserable and pathetic soul.

Do you like being fucked up the whole time? Do you like being such a sorry human being?

If you have any self-respect left you will work on it to get yourself clean and sorted out.

Do you want to breathe in fresh air, or do you want to breathe in the rotten stench of your vomit and your shit? That stench is telling you just how sick you are within yourself!

Get clean or stay lost in your shit.

Some animals like to roll in their shit and they like it, but you are so much more better than that.

Only if you like rolling in your own shit and vomit will you continue your self-mutilation.

Vomit to get all the sickness out of your system, but never the food...let your mind gag, let your soul detox, but not your physical body...kill the disease within you, but not your body, if you kill the illness through mental work, you can save your body and your soul.

Go for a period of "mental vomit and bleeding" to get all the sick shit out of your system (soul).

Just take time for yourself on some sort of self-induced healing journey, that is if you have any honour left, if you still think anything of yourself.

It is never too late to make a turn for the good, and it is never too soon to make that choice.

To love yourself is to heal yourself, to respect yourself and to remember your honour!

-------------
Rolling in your own blood, also equals rolling around in your own shit...stop being self-defeated...you can either be your own worst enemy or your own best friend...which one will it be?

Self-Harm

The Dream:

(read it like a story if you want to learn something)

I was with an ex lover and we were in an argument. Something was said about me dying or stabbing me and I went into the bathroom, took a huge bladed knife and right under my right rib plunged it into my stomach. I pulled it out and all this blood was rushing out along with particles of gut. I was in the shower and the blood and guts coming out was so much and it was everywhere. I got out of the shower and the ex called 911 but said it didn't look that bad but it was really really bad. In the hospital they told me they would have to take me to the loony bin and I said "why I'm not going to hurt myself".

Interpretation:

It means that you should stop beating yourself up over failed past relationships (as in stop stabbing/hurting yourself over things you couldn't prevent from happening).

You had no control over fate.

You cannot control the past but you can control how you feel about the past and how much you have learned since then...you should accept the lessons and wisdom gained and just move on.

The longer you refrain from forgiving yourself the longer you will feel trapped by guilt...everything happened as it should to bring you where you are today. Forgive yourself first to stop hurting yourself, only then can you forgive others.

Drop the burden of guilt, accept the wisdom gained through experience, be grateful and aim to be better.

Guilt is just another form of saying "I am afraid to let go of the past and anger."...to still be angry is to be trapped by the past...it is the same thing that prevents you from really growing. Forgive and forget to expand your soul.

To punish yourself is to keep your soul poor without progression. Break the limits of your mind to give it wings to new and broader horizons...breathe fresh air, the old will only suffocate you.

Make peace with yourself and then with everyone, and then enjoy the ride without self-harm holding you back.

Don't drive yourself crazy about things that were meant to happen and be, you can't hold it against them or yourself, just make peace with the whole "aiding in your spiritual evolution process thereof...everything happens for a reason, search for the purpose that will enrich your soul with its valuable lessons...take the good from the bad...to be a warrior is to see the purpose in all, the good in everything, and to learn from the bad...the past is to learn from and not to live in.

The "shower" symbol means that you CAN heal if you want to - you can be "washed clean", you can "become refreshed" with a new perspective on things...

The ex is the problem...the ex also ended up saving your life by calling 911...if you can see that by facing the problem that you can save yourself then you would be sane or else you would be lost in the ignorance of insanity...you would continue to harm yourself if you fail to understand that you can heal yourself with the poison of the past...

You can help yourself, but that is an issue of WILL, do you want to SAVE yourself?

Are you afraid to go past the brutal known, to the unknown? To be in a constant state of self-pity is to find the violence of the past comfortable.

-----------

"Illusion holds power over you
when you are not able to remember that you are a powerful spirit
that has taken on the physical experience for the purpose of learning" ... "I have come to the conclusion that
until I find and heal the fears in me that I do not know about,
and those that I do know about,
I will not be able to contribute much that will not be part of
the many challenges we face – such as brutality, poverty, drug abuse, child abuse, abuse of the environment, and abuse of women, to name a few."

~ Gary Zukav ~

"Lack of self-worth is the fundamental source of all emotional pain. A feeling of insecurity, unworthiness and lack of value
is the core experience of powerlessness."

~ Gary Zukav & Linda Francis - from "The Heart Of The Soul" ~

"Changing the world begins with the very personal process of changing yourself,the only place you can begin is where you are,
and the only time you can begin is always now."

~ Gary Zukav ~

"By choosing your thoughts,
and by selecting which emotional currents you will release
and which you will reinforce,
you determine the quality of your Light.
You determine the effects that you will have upon others,
and the nature of the experiences of your life."

~ Gary Zukav - from "Seat Of The Soul" ~

"Emotions reflect intentions.
Therefore, awareness of emotions leads to awareness of intentions.
Every discrepancy between a conscious intention
and the emotions that accompany it, points directly to
a splintered aspect of the self that requires healing."

~ Gary Zukav ~

 

The White & Black Kitten

(read it like a story if you want to learn something)

The Dream:

"The dream was about two dead kittens; one white, the other black. For some reason I had to choose between them and I was only allowed choose one. I ended up choosing the white one. When I did the white kitten came back to life and I took her home. This part of the dream stuck with me and I'm curious as to what it means."

 

 Dream Interpretation:

It could have two meanings:

1) A difficult choice to make - as the one represented by the black cat will only bring you misery, meaning that if you pick the black cat IT WILL STAY DEAD, bringing you heartache and pain...but if you pick the other one, (the white cat), you will make the right choice which you know is the right one to take, you also know if you make the right choice that things will be a lot less difficult than picking the "black DEAD option"...the "black DEAD option" is also a choice you know if taken will have dangerous repercussions...if you know what is good and what is evil, why choose evil if you know evil could harm you? It sounds like you had a (possibly tough) decision to make, and you made the right decision, (possibly represented by the kitten coming back to life).

2) It could mean that you are currently in a struggle or battle with yourself - between the light and dark side of your personality, like the "demon and angel" within you...it could mean that you should not allow your inner demons to consume you, you should tame them like an ANGEL WOULD TAME A DEMON, you should tame yourself...choosing to be an "ANGEL" instead, overcoming your problems and insecurities instead of letting it overcome you...it is time to practice some self-control...to initiate self-discipline - to be GOOD, choosing the GOOD PATH...instead of letting yourself go by surrendering to the destructive darkness within you...seek to battle the darkness that threatens to make you "lose yourself" with the light of courage and wisdom...don't give in, you can do this...by picking the "Angel" in you...the "black kitten" symbolize thus the "demon in you - a destructive force which means that if you give in to it you can harm yourself."...so know thyself and your weaknesses and be strong, if you make the right choice NOW everything will be okay, okay?!!

Making the "black cat" walk while standing firm in your "white cat" feetz...

 

 

 

----------

There's an old expression or saying: it's either black or white, no shades of grey (no in between). In other words, something either is or it isn't; yes or no (you are either completely for it or against it).

Self-Harm

Inside Lies the problem, it is the inside that we need to attend to...if we harm our vessels we would forfeit the chance to make a difference in the world.

When you take it out on your flesh it signifies that your soul is weak...and that your flesh is stronger...it should be the other way around...you shouldn't give your flesh the upper hand to control your thoughts...the physical was never meant to be superior to the spirit.

Your flesh is not meant to play victim of the destructive forces of your soul...you should not punish the vessel, but the thing in the vessel...your body has to carry you through life...it is then like a car with burn marks, rust holes and scratches on its hood or roof...it is how sick it looks in reality if we cannot control the demons in ourselves...we should stop making ourselves the victims - giving a pitiful view out to the world, that everyone should pity us, that they owe us, because in reality the world doesn't owe us sh*t, and we are the only people that owe ourselves something(s) and it is us that owe something to the world, not the other way around...we are born with a mission, to make a difference in the world...sometimes we like to feel pathetic like that just to avoid our grown up responsibilities - fearing life.

We cannot make a difference in Life if we Fear (DEALING WITH) life. 

We cannot ourselves take the Breathe God gave us, we do not have the authority over our own bodies...we cannot kill what God made to be promising...God only helps those who help themselves...take pride in your TEMPLE, LOVE YOURSELF, because God's Spirit lives within your body...if you defile your body you defile the Spirit.

-----------

If you were meant to die, why do you think you were born then in the first place?????? you were born to live...sort yourself out, everyone admires someone with their head held high, and everyone despises a weakling. Life is a fight, if you have pride you will fight...if you don't feel anything for yourself then you feel nothing for God's Spirit that lives within you...lacking any reverence for the Divine within you...you were given a Breath, use it, don't waste it.